Why is it so hard to value and accept ourselves?

Our deepest wounds – the ones that shape our lives, are given to us by our parents (or those playing that role), in childhood. These become part of us – our unconscious default program, and the lens through which we see the world.

Although they may have good intentions, our parents’ attempts to bring us up to be a ‘good’ girl or boy create deep psychological imprints which can cause lifelong emotional disturbance and stop us being or becoming our ‘real’ selves.

When we’re children, our parents teach us, or force us to think, feel and behave the way they want us to – training us to be who they think we should be, rather than who we really are.

 

So we learn that we’re not totally acceptable as we are.

 

So we can grow up feeling that we’re not good enough – that we have to hide the ‘unacceptable’ parts of ourselves, and earn the attention, love and affection we need, by always being ‘perfect’, helpful, or high-achieving. Worse still, if we don’t receive any positive attention, we may grow up to feel we’re ugly, stupid, or useless, not worthy of love or success.

This unconscious conditioning shapes our lives. It shapes our thinking and guides our behaviour because we’ll always be unconsciously feeling that we’re only okay, good enough or safe if we conform to this conditioned way of being.

We’re all shaped by our childhood experience, so we all struggle in this way.

 

To address these problems, we have to deepen our self-understanding and awareness, delve into our past and peel away our emotional conditioning, layer by layer, to become the happy, confident person we’re meant to be.

I want to help you in this process, help you find your answer to the big questions of life, realise your potential and become the person you were born to be.